Sometimes, it’s better to just keep your yap shut. Like, say, these times:
• James Martensen, 51, of Boystown is charged with assault, criminal trespass to land, and theft of lost or mislaid property after a January 12th incident.
According to court records, police met Martensen after he allegedly refused to leave a 7-Eleven store in the 1200 block of Belmont. During processing at the police station, officers say Martensen, who “has a lot of retail theft in his background,” was found to be in possession of a sports garment that still had Fleet Feet price tags on it and would not fit Martensen’s 6-foot-6-inch, 280-pound frame.
One more thing. In the station, officers say Martensen shouted to an officer, “Fuck you. I am gonna get a gun and shoot you in the head.”
• Cops met Stephen Friberg, 54, of Anchorage, Alaska, in the 1000 block of Belmont a couple of weeks ago after local businesses reported that he was throwing potted plants into the street. Upon meeting the officers, Friberg allegedly said, “Fuck you. I’m going to make this difficult for you. I’m tired of getting tickets.” Friberg was arrested without difficulty and is now charged with reckless conduct.
• Security officers at a high-rise building in the 500 block of Hawthorne Place asked Salvation Army driver Derrick Stokes to move his truck, which was blocking the building’s driveway. According to court records, Stokes, 43, told the guard that he would kick the guard’s ass and also shove the guard’s badge up the guard’s ass. Stokes was charged with assault.