Friday, 2:05AM – Man at Belmont and Sheffield wants to see police about a woman he was with in a bar because, “she was talking about bombs.” Officers correctly guess that “she was talking about Jägerbombs.”
Saturday, 1:18PM – A Lincoln Park family calls 911, claiming that their son has been kidnapped and his captors are demanding a $3,000 ransom. Tactical team arrives and determines that the situation sounds “fishy” because “this nut head low-balled” the alleged captors by counter-offering $500 for his child. Case resolved.
Monday, 3:55PM – One of the 19th district cars assigned to sit outside of Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s house reports a group of 4 white guys trying to steal a “City of Chicago, Building a Better Neighborhood” sign at Montrose and Ashland.