|Fans celebrate in Wrigleyville after Sunday’s win | the1stMikeC|
Never buy World Series tickets from a guy who has seashells in his hair.
That’s just one of the takeaways from last weekend’s three World Series games at Wrigley Field.
Chicago police arrested 19 people in connection with the games and, contrary to what we’ve come to expect from Wrigleyville, the vast majority of the arrests were not for drunken antics or fights.
Nearly half of the people locked up were charged with either selling fake tickets, attempting to bum-rush their way into the stadium, or presenting bogus Major League Baseball credentials.
Here’s flashback at what went down during the Cubs’ first World Series Games at Wrigley since 1945, taken from police reports, court records, and (of course) police and fire department communications:
Friday, October 28
2:41PM — Police command post watches as a man in a wheelchair pick-pockets a man who’s passed out on the ground at Clark and Addison. They spend 15 minutes trying to get someone to (1) render aid to the unconscious man and (2) detain the man in the wheelchair.
2:58 PM — Dispatcher “OK. I need anybody. Any unit. Look for the guy on the street he’s going to be lying on the ground in a blue and white sweatshirt. He’s asleep on the street he’s the victim of a pickpocket.”
3:01 PM — Dispatcher: “Is there a post or a landmark or something at Clark and Addison to try to get that victim? We have a possible offender, but someone needs to go find the victim. He’s on Clark just north of Addison in front of the sports store, but no one’s responding.”
3:02 PM — Officer: “What have you got?” The dispatcher tells the whole story again.
3:03 PM — Officer: “Can you give me that description again?” The dispatcher tells the whole story again.
3:03 PM — Officer: “OK. We’re trying to wake him now, squad. He’s a little intoxicated.”
3:08 PM — The unconscious man and the guy in the wheelchair know each other. The victim refuses to press charges.
|Daley and Donohue | Chicago Police Department|
4:10 PM — Welp, there’s still three hours before game time, but we already have our first two arrests. 19-year-old John Donohue of Ashburn, VA, and 20-year-old Mark Daley of Ft. Worth, TX, are charged with trespassing on Cubs property.
4:41 PM — The “Joint Operations Command,” masculinely known as the “JOC Command,” receives a report of people selling drugs while walking northbound on Clark from Cornelia.
4:42 PM — Drug dealer is now at Clark and Eddy.
4:44 PM — That drug dealer is standing at the door to the Cubby Bear if anybody wants to grab him.
4:46 PM — They lost track of the drug dealer.
4:52 PM — “I’m distributing flex cuffs, and none of the pedestrian crossings have signs” about pedestrians being subject to search.
4:56 PM — “They have the signs at Wilton and Sheffield.”
“All right. Well, Wilton and Sheffield, um, run the same direction.”
“Oh, you’re correct, as a matter of fact.”
“Let me make a call.”
|Eric Carter. Born leader.|
5:26 PM — Chicago Police Deputy Chief of Special Functions Eric Carter taps into the leadership spirits of great leaders like Eisenhower, Lincoln, and Churchill to broadcast a radio message to the troops:
“Everybody get on post and act like you know what you’re doing.”
Quite a message from the man who was in charge of making sure everybody knew what to do. Officers take to the radio and respond as one might expect when in the presence of such incredible leadership:
“Go fuck yourself.”
5:40 PM — Sportsworld at 3555 North Clark has detained two people for shoplifting. But, just as in the playoffs, Chicago police are unable to figure out a way to transport the thieves three blocks to the nearest police station. The offenders are set free.
|Davis | Chicago Police Dept|
7:50 PM — 50-year-old Melvin Davis of Bronx, IL, is arrested for selling counterfeit tickets and resisting police.
8:41 PM — The 19th district’s overnight officers are ready to go to work, but they are unable to go on patrol because their vehicles are blocked in the parking lot at 850 W. Addison.
9:04 PM — There are over 1000 cops at Wrigley Field, but there are no police officers available to handle the day-to-day matters of the 19th district. Currently waiting for an officer to become available are calls of an auto theft in progress, fire, two home burglar alarms, an assault in progress, an auto accident, and two disturbances.
|Willis | Chicago Police Dept|
9:50 PM — Wow. It took this long for Sluggers World Class Sports Bar to get mentioned in one of our Wrigleyville run-downs? That may be a record. Anywho, Police arrest 44-year-old Dawayne Willis of Rogers Park for “becoming combative and striking [a police sergeant] in the chest” while being escorted out of Sluggers.
10:35 PM — “We got four bucket boys walking eastbound on Cornelia, trying to get in!” “NO! Absolutely not!”
|McMillan | Chicago Police Dept|
11:30 PM — Alexander McMillan of Ft. Worth is arrested for “intentionally using a counterfeit Major League Baseball press pass in an attempt to gain entry to restricted areas of Wrigley Field.” The 38-year-old is charged with counterfeiting a license or permit.
Side note: How many criminals does Ft. Worth have? And why are they so hot on getting into a Cubs game?
11:52 PM — “I gotta guy bleeding and laid out” at Addison and Racine.
12:25 AM — Elderly woman in the 1400 block of West Berteau reports a “male white in a blue Cubs shirt is on her porch and she doesn’t feel safe.”
1:08 AM — “A male Hispanic in a black jacket and jeans just peed on his cab.”
1:42 AM — A man stole a silver Chrysler in the 3700 block of Fremont. “The  caller asked what he was doing, and the man said ‘none of your business’ and took off.” Rude.
2:45 AM — Three people shot at Oakdale and Sheffield.
4:12 AM — A man just walked into Illinois Masonic Medical Center covered in blood. He says he just beat someone to death.
4:15 AM to 5:00 AM — Series of large fights and a robbery at Sheffield and Belmont.
4:38 AM — Robbery victim flags down cops at Newport and Clark after being held up by three armed men.
Saturday, October 29
3:16 PM — An officer, probably not realizing the truthfulness of his words, reports “there’s overflowing trash around Sluggers.”
4:01 PM — JOC Command, the operational nerve center of all city and federal resources, takes to the airwaves: “Can I get a confirmation or denial on the horse poo clean up, please?”
|Evidence for a certain Streets & San grievance | Second City Cop|
4:22 PM — Gregory is supposed to be moving out of his house one block from Wrigley Field, but security forces won’t let his moving van enter the perimeter. Sorry, Gregory.
5:12 PM — “Waveland and Clifton is still waiting for the horse droppings to be picked up. It was supposed to be 4:30, then 5 o’clock the latest, then 5:12, I mean….”
The gang over at Second City Cop captured an image of the poo clean up crew.
Who knew that some of the 1000+ police officers on duty in Wrigleyville would be picking up horse shit?
5:30 PM — They’re selling fake Major League Baseball credentials at Sheffield and Waveland.
6:04 PM — The Organized Crime Division and Vice have “identified illegal helium balloon sales” in the 3700 block of Sheffield.
6:15 PM — “We have these helium containers that are filled with some sort of gas (helium, perhaps?) over here and we need to get ‘em outta here ASAP!”
6:25 PM — They’re selling fake tickets to the game at Addison and Sheffield.
6:36 PM — Police flagged down at the Addison Red Line by a guy who bought fake tickets.
|Carr and Taylor | Chicago Police Department|
6:40 PM — Rule of thumb: Don’t buy “World Series tickets” from a guy who has seashells in his hair.
Tyrell Carr, 24, is arrested at the Addison Red Line station and charged with theft, forgery, and obstructing identification. He’s accused of selling two fake World Series tickets for $3,200 cash. Jarell Taylor, 25, is charged with theft in the case.
9:20 PM — Cubs security says some dude from Elmhurst just ran up to Wrigley Field Gate K, jumped the barrier, and tried to run into the stadium without a ticket. Adam Hoeft, 23, is charged with trespassing.
9:21 PM — Cubs security warns a fan that he won’t be able to re-enter if he leaves the stadium.
9:25 PM — Cubs security arrests that man when he charges at guards in an effort to prove them wrong. Luke Hoerr, 22, of Peoria is charged with battery.
2:10 AM — “Ya got a drunk male Hispanic, white shirt, face down in the planters.”
4:34 AM — “Is that a woman in a skeleton Halloween costume?”
“Yeah. I asked her if she wanted something to eat, but she didn’t answer.”
6:16 AM — “Male, white, 25, beard, White Sox jersey just slapped the WGN truck window and now he’s throwing bottles.”
Sunday, October 30
Mmmmmm! The fresh air of a new day! Let’s see if we can get through this one without any arrests, OK, Wrigleyville?
|Also not a cop.|
10:35AM — Damn! Already, people? OK. Fine. Cubs security, trying to maintain order in a long line of people who hope to buy last- minute tickets to tonight’s game, ask 38-year-old Taya Grant to get in line rather than stand off to the side. Grant replies, “CPD.” We’ll let his arrest report take the story from there: “”Security officer not believing offender asked for identification and then detained offender [who told reporting officers], ‘I should never have said CPD. I fucked up.’” Grant is charged with impersonating police.
6:58 PM — “We got a naked man in the middle of the street at Clark and Belmont.”
“I see him. He’s got pants on.”
“Alright. Ok. Thanks.”
“Nope. He just dropped ‘em again…Ya know. He might be a mental.”
|Little | Ill. Dept of Corrections|
7:45 PM — 55-year-old convicted identity thief and forgery expert Carmen Little is arrested at Clark and Addison for selling… Oh, you know. He’s charged with theft.
9:20 PM — This is getting ponderous, man. 30-year-old Joseph Massoli of Memphis is arrested after allegedly plowing over a female security agent while trying to storm through a barrier to enter Wrigley Field. Charges: battery and trespassing.
10:55 PM — Oh, here’s a twist. Alexander Ahola of Manitowoc, WI, is detained for trying to use a legitimate MLB Network press pass in the name of Kyle Castro to enter Wrigley Field. Ahola tells police he found Castro’s pass “outside of Wrigley Field in the bushes.” Fortuitously, Ahola just happened to be wearing an MLB Network t-shirt with the word “CREW” written on the back when he found Castro’s pass “in the bushes.” Ahola’s charged with theft of lost or mislaid property.
10:55 PM — JOC Command unleashes its manliness: “Let units by Murphy’s Bleachers know that there are two people holding up a big Hillary for president banner.”
“Hillary for prison?”
11:11 PM — Police chaplain: “I wanna say to all the guys working tonight, God bless ya and Go Cubs!”
12:40 AM — Oh.Em. Gee. Two hours after the final home game of post-season play, police figure out a way to get shoplifters from Sportsworld to jail. Esteban Escobar, 19, and Khaleal Washburn, 20, are charged with stealing a $33 hat and two $35 shirts respectively.