Naked pervert is interrupting Cook County’s online court sessions, chief judge says; ‘a large pickle or small cucumber’

Chicago — Cook County officials are on the hunt for a man who is interrupting online court proceedings by Zooming video of himself participating in extremely graphic sexual behavior, according to records provided to CWBChicago.

In an email to the county’s judges on Tuesday, Chief Judge Timothy Evans acknowledged that “in the last week, many of you have been ‘Zoom Bombed’ with a video of a person who exposes himself and engages in sexually explicit conduct.”

That may be an understatement, based on the graphically described accounts of witnesses CWBChicago acquired through a source.

Evans said the Cook County Sheriff’s Police are investigating the incidents. He told judges that “bad actors seem to be using Zoom access information from the court’s website” to “broadcast these egregious acts to the detriment of proper decorum and the court’s ability to conduct its proceedings.”

One such egregious act involved a “large pickle or small cucumber,” according to a sheriff’s office report.

And, on that note, we should warn you that the following paragraphs contain graphic details of the alleged behavior.

A sheriff’s office report said that the most recent incident happened on Monday morning during a routine misdemeanor court call.

“An unknown black male entered the courtroom via Zoom and began masturbating,” an officer wrote. “The subject was laying on his back with both legs in the air, described to me as being in a position not unlike a baby would be during a diaper change.”

“The subject was masturbating with his bare penis exposed,” said the report, “and an unknown item inserted into…” Well, you know.

Two other courtrooms were also disrupted on Monday, according to the report.

“Multiple” court sessions were “Zoom bombed” on December 8, said a second report.

And on December 9, a domestic violence court session was targeted.

In that incident, the report said, the man pleasured himself and “also displayed a green object, suspected to be a large pickle or small cucumber and inserted it…” Well, you know.

Evans said he had given his staff permission to take Zoom codes off the court’s website. Still, it might take a month or two to change the login information because people involved in court cases have already been given the credentials for their next scheduled appearances.

The Zoom Bomber is not the first hiccup to affect the court’s online proceedings.

One year ago, scam artists posing as attorneys infiltrated Cook County’s online criminal court proceedings to defraud defendants. Defendants and family members had been scammed into making electronic payments to the scammers for legal services. Others sent money to people who offered to bail people out of jail in exchange for payments.

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